In a world that seeks to get most of our attention, praises, and time, there's more to adulting than meets the eye.
If you are a late 90s girl you probably had your eyes set on a dollhouse or two.
Welp, I was one of those kids!
I loved seeing dollhouses and playing with them. And I really feel for my male cousin who grew up with me and must have stepped on those bits and pieces all the time that are no worse than legos that obliterate your feet when you walk on them. Yikes!
On the Move
Over the past years, I lived in different cities.
At 13, I had to move out of my town to pursue high school studies elsewhere. At 16, I had to go to a university quite far from home as it was the most affordable and wisest option after my family had a falling out. It was the season of part-time jobs for me and so God taught me the value of work. And at 20, I had to spend sometime in the States to study after God has generously granted me a full scholarship to New York. And then after graduating college at 21 I had to move to another city to work and officially venture into the land of adults.
And so for many years, I wanted to have my own home. I kept moving places and realized how good it would be if there was a hidden inheritance in all these cities in the form of apartments or houses (haha).
You probably relate to this popular meme!
When we start to "adult," we suddenly realize that there are responsibilities that we have to take on but that we also need to get enough rest and personal time so we can function physically to the best of our ability. So this triangular model of college life shouldn't dictate your adulting life. The earlier you know that this is not the healthy or logical routine you should have as a foundation, the easier your transition would be to being a post-college adult. To the adults reading this, you'd probably agree.
When I hit 23 it dawned on me that I am going to be working for the rest of my life (if the Lord permits of course!), and so the home I have been thinking about has become more of a need than a want in my head because the town where our ancestral home is simply doesn't seem to be the place where I am called to live and serve right now. And maybe you have been in the same situation where you realize where you are clearly being called to work. You're not alone! I know how you feel!
So....
...a home.
"How do I get one of those?" I asked myself.
It has been kind of a long journey but I remember a couple of things I learned in the process of receiving a new home from the Lord at 24, and I hope these remind us that our provider is not ourselves but our Lord Jesus Christ and that there is no single word irrelevant to our lives in His Word (the Bible) so we have to pay close attention to it as opposed to what some say that it is not something for an ordinary person to read or that we only should read it when we are down in the dumps:
Lesson 1: Starting with the right perspective is key.
For a loooooooooong while it just seemed impossible to have my own home, you know? On dry afternoons, I'd ask my best friend - my mom - when she thinks I'll have my own home and she'll say "Maybe closer to when you are 30." which just made my heart sink not because it's not a good season to have a home but because I knew I needed one right now when I am working late nights and all.
After traveling for work for days and having to carry my luggage up three sets of stairs in the late hours of the night and neither be able to cook (because it is not allowed where I lived) nor shower with warm water, it can get pretty strenuous - the city life, you know! I lived in a good place. It was where many wonderful and accomplished women lived but I just wasn't cut out for anything that further drains my energy in my discretionary hours.
Looking back, I had moments of sadness, doubts, and aimlessness. I used to wonder, "How long will it be like this?" Then I remembered there were many days in the past when I felt like it was impossible to finish well in college and get a good job. And yet God has made it possible for me to graduate with honors in a competitive university, get a perfect score on my thesis, have part-time jobs, experience studying overseas for free, get a good full-time job, and travel to so many places the past years.
All these happened because of God's grace and direction not my own doing (though my free will from Him is active it is the Lord that makes the opportunities, good people, and wisdom available) so the Lord made me realize: what's the use in worrying about what I cannot get at the moment when it's clearly not His time yet? How can something be good for me if it isn't Jesus' time for me to receive it?
Thankfully, over time, God has taken me out of the toxic and worldly thinking that I had (because I was letting the world in to my mindset and so I was having unrealistic expectations - big mistake!) and He reminded me to be thankful. He gently helped me to focus on Him because my security rests on Him alone and wherever He is that is my home. Come to think of it, what good is a castle or a mansion without the Lord's presence in it? How strong could it be if the Lord's Hand does not protect it?
Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. (Psalm 127:1 ESV)
Better a day in your courtyards than a thousand [days elsewhere]. Better just standing at the door of my God’s house than living in the tents of the wicked. (Psalm 84:11 CJB)
I experienced living in a mountain for more than three years and my 5"3 self experienced living in one of the sketchiest places in Manila and I was at peace and well provided for because the Lord kept me. So in ALL your plans, do not miss on committing it to the Lord who is in control.
Lesson 2: Be content.
In my younger years, I had to learn to STOP relying on influencer culture to know who I am and what I want. There's no denying It is rough to live in a world that influences you who to be and how you should be but I eventually learned to focus on what Jesus commands us to do more and more because that's what we genuinely need to do not what people are doing to be known by following fads that come and go, or schemes that some rely on to earn quick and easy cash.
I had to choose to open up the Bible by the grace of the Lord and find there who God has made me to be. After all, He's my Creator. The problem comes in when we try to define ourselves and life stages based on our own understanding. It gets really chaotic, tricky, and downright depressing many times when we use the world as a reference for what we feel like is right when in reality there is a solid, inerrant truth about our identity in the Word of God - the Bible - which Jesus Himself has provided.
I learned that we don't need to catch up in the worldly things that do not glorify God because then all would be just vanity. And we live so short here on earth! For example, if we are being called to focus on working which is a part of God's design as we see in the first book of the Bible, then I must work in my school years and build my nest after instead of pining after traveling the world, making my Instagram feed pretty, or other big pursuits like getting my own home before I am even truly ready.
It goes without saying I learned to follow God's way because He prepares His children not just to triumphantly overcome adversity but receive blessings well so we will not lose our way and think ourselves mighty or self-sufficient. It is said in Matthew 16:26 NIV,
What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
Lesson 3: Do not compromise
There was a time when I had a crisis (in my head as one does) because I thought I would be ancient by the time I will enjoy my own home, that I’ll always have to rent in my 20s, and that it will never happen. Some have advised me and said “Oh you should consider dating someone and living with them so you split the costs.”
What a lie!
What’s the truth? The truth is Jesus Christ, my God, owns everything and He’s the one I should go to for this need. None of us should live beneath our privileges when we have a good Provider and God, and we definitely should not conform to the pattern of the world. The world may be seriously sure about "convenient ways" to get to where we want to go but it can be completely sure and completely wrong:
A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart. Proverbs 21:2
So this is why we need to know how to seek the counsel of Jesus and apply it. Because on our own, we will always fail us just about. Our view is too limited.
That said, God made me realize that there is no need for me to go against God’s call to purity for me to get what I need. And, also, if I disobey God I will certainly have a problem with Him and the consequences would be there because He is Holy and disciplines those He loves.
So, now as I look out the beautiful view from the home God has provided me I don't think of the times I said no to the things the world deems to be a rite of passage. Instead, I am always reminded of God's sovereignty and of how His Word is not outdated but is a necessity to not just any life but a FULL life. His promises and plans for us are far sovereign over anything the world wants us to do to feel like we belong. Abiding in Him is the best thing we can ever do.
Don't get me wrong - it's good to have fun but do we know the kind of fun that we actually need and is good for us? I think to really find happiness that do not drain or waste away we need to learn to seek fun and enjoyment in things that glorify God because there's no lasting contentment outside His presence. And that's why when I wasn't focusing on God my life felt like a rollercoaster - some days I was excited for stuff and the other days I was just trying to get by. I was in the hunt for the next exciting thing when in reality my days can be consistently meaningful and victorious when spent for Jesus.
Lesson 4: Make Plans and Seek Counsel.
IMPORTANT TIP: I learned you have got to have the researching, budgeting, connections, and timeline down before diving deep into contracts and furniture shopping.
Thankfully, from my experience, the Lord enabled me to take my time and I basically spent my holidays with a massive manila paper posted on my bedroom wall giving my God-given counselor (my mom) a walkthrough of the different timelines and budget strategies I need to take into account to see if it's biblically sound to get a new home. It wasn't even for the paying part yet. It was simply for making the decision whether this is according to the will of God (meaning will I be able to keep the commitment of the financial responsibilities He expects me to do) or was I pushing it?
I listened to a lot of Bible-based churches' preachings about money management and read the Bible until the wee hours of the morning because the truth is the Word of God (Bible) is the manual to life. And so it's the most relevant source one can ever have in their lives - especially in money management and property procurement! So other than praying and talking to God about the home I was praying for, I also prayed for guidance in plotting the budget, savings, and expected expenses. And I read and read and read.
For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ (Luke 14:28-30 ESV)
If Moses who was extremely blessed by the Lord with gifts knew when he needed to take advice from an elder, Jethro, so must we! So I asked some elders who knew the Lord and had a background in finance to receive sound advice and not just what I wanted to hear.
Lesson 4: Accounting
For any kind of purchase, good accounting is a Biblical concept that we need to do. Accounting did not precede the Word of God. It is what God expects us to do.
Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations. (Proverbs 27:23-24)
Who owns everything? God! What does it mean when we are given money, friends, opportunities, resources, time, or talents as we live our lives on Earth? It means we are stewards who ought to take care of what the Lord had entrusted to us.
Therefore, we cannot spend away what we have in wild living. We cannot let our bodies take the hit for the desires we have that are against who has died for us. We have to know the condition of the riches - no matter how big or small the world may think it is - because it is from our Father in Heaven. So, in the verse above we learn that Jesus tells us that we need to save and know what goes in our income and what goes out. So I definitely recommend accounting for all you have before making a big commitment such as buying a home so you know you are not way in over your head. Get a spreadsheet and do it no matter how long it takes. You need to see the trajectory. Personally, for me, I had five trajectories and had to constantly pray and have them rechecked to do proper accounting.
Lesson 5: See through the whole thing
I am the type of person who walks into a furniture store and likes 98% of everything I see. So it's such a big blessing God has provided me with a fantastic designer who knows and fears the Lord and happens to be incredibly gifted in designing a home.
So just because I didn't know how to design a home doesn't mean I didn't research palettes and furniture I would like, I put some stuff together and sent it over the designer. And the designer also appreciated the details in it. But the role I had didn't stop there, I had to go with them when they would shop and get some appliances on my own. I had to personally be with the people who would assemble my bed and those modular cabinets I had no idea took such a long time to do because I lived in a house with a bunch of cabinets that were just there when I was growing up. The lesson is even if you do not have an active duty or the front-facing soldier in a mission or pursuit, you cannot lose focus because where you are is where God has put you. You have to keep yourself informed, aware, and involved.
And it was good because it taught me about commitment. I can say now that my home is complete that there's no furniture, decor, or design that I do not like or use. This is also something I saw from Moses' character of how he oversaw the gifted people God used to build a tabernacle in the dessert which was necessary for the once victims of slavery to become a holy nation that is set apart because of their relationship with the Lord.
Lesson 6: Give tithes
This is something my mom called my attention to after I have started to live in the home God has provided for a few weeks. She said (non-verbatim), "Did you notice how God faithfully poured out blessings to you after He enabled you to bring tithes to church even when you had small earnings?"
For those of you who don't know, one of God's promises in the Bible is this "Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need." (Malachi 3:10 ESV)
And it's true. God tripled those small earnings (that are pretty good for a fresh graduate). Just the other day I was talking to my dear mom and telling her how I sincerely do not feel like there is anything I am lacking because of the Lord's grace. Now, don't get me wrong, I have bills to pay, work to accomplish, relationships to invest in, reconciliation I am praying on my knees for, health to improve, habits to wage war against, and more but it is clear He has restored what I have lost and provided what I badly needed.
To every man whom God has given wealth and possessions, he has also given him the ability to eat from them, to receive his reward, and to find enjoyment in his toil; these things are the gift of God. [Ecclesiastes 5:19 NET]
And the thing is I had a good friend who told me it would benefit me to stop paying tithes because it takes out money out of my would-be savings. Praise God who keeps our hearts from stumbling in trying moments despite wrong counsels around! Ah, amazing, amazing God!
Lesson 7: Check your faith and know He is God
If you are thinking of getting a new home, I have to share that it's not all good IKEA finds, beautiful porcelain plates, and sunny days. I had a long, physically consuming journey on an unpaved road. But it was fun and worthwhile because I felt, saw, and experienced God's provision all throughout.
When you don't feel like God is at work, I implore you to stop and take a closer look in your life. What you may be attributing to coincidence, the universe, or your own merit couldn't be anymore detached from you and these things - something I have grown to realize.
It was very clear in this journey I had that nothing was left to chance. I had zero problem with anyone I worked with. And to think I met more than 25 people in getting all the appliances, furniture, decor, water, and electrical work needed over the courses of many days during the pandemic. And it all worked out! How could that be?
One of the biggest hurdles was the requirement in the area where I now live to have a COVID-19 test. And it was just nowhere available where I originally lived. After one or two days of prayer, you know what happened? An office that conducts COVID-19 tests popped up in a building I always pass on my to work.
Was it CHANCE that caused this testing place to show up a few days before my contract ended with the place where I was initially living? Was it CHANCE that I met designers who had the same faith and looked out after my best interest? Was it chance that it was my discipleship group leader (big sister) at church that connected me to them after years of me avoiding people at church? Was it CHANCE that all the items I bought the past years is the same "color and look" as the new furniture and appliances I now have so nothing seems out of place as if I was led to buy them for this very home all those years ago? Was it CHANCE that my agent was a guy who feared the Lord and refused to begin meetings without a prayer? Was it chance or did God intentionally cared for His child in all these days to this day?
In one of the physically tiring days I had prior to moving in to this home, I was looking at some men's work in my kitchen - my first kitchen with every bit and piece coming from the Lord's provision the past years - and remembered what God said in Isaiah 43:19
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
Friends, take it from someone who has known loss and brokenness, God makes a way when there seems to be no way. We have a big God who stretches the heavens and intends everything for our good.
With this in mind, what's your biggest problem again?
He cares. Call out to Him. Jesus lives.
May peace be with you,
Grace
P.S. If you want to take the time to read the Bible and study it more in-depth, download this.
And if you want to study the Bible together (the more the merrier!), do not hesitate to message me! Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
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